Write It Out, Speak It Out

If you can't talk it out, Write It Out, then Speak It Out!

If you're a crybaby like me, words aren't formed into words but gibberish when agitated about a situation when talking to God about it. Trying to explain how you're feeling, but a trembling voice and tears are steadily getting in the way of your conversation. Eventually, you give up, compress your emotions, and surround yourself with depressing music to fill that void. At least, that is what I do. Resisting that hurt or burden, you believe God doesn't care about how you feel when He does. You're just trying to find a way to release those emotions to God but don't know how? 

Writing Out Your Thoughts! Because we've been talking about vulnerability this week, I decided to try something a little different. For the past two years, a lot has transpired in my life. Without going into details, I would find myself doing 1 or 2 things. One, I would suppress my emotions as if nothing happened, throwing my hands up to God in carelessness. Or two, I would take some time by myself, write out what I couldn't say, and explain it to God. Lifting my hands and whispering, I can't do this. Then, to feel this overwhelming presence of peace, assuring me that everything will be okay, even when it didn't seem like it. 

Which one do you think was more impactful in my relationship with God? Number Two, of course!! Closing off and ignoring how I truly felt my life was going caused more damage than healing. There wasn't enough mental capacity to handle another detour in my life. Writing out my thoughts and secrets helped me relay specific messages that I couldn't speak. (Elementary School Health Class 101) 

I used to believe there was a lack of faith for the longest time because I allowed myself to feel so much emotion. When in reality, there's no denying our humanity gives us the right to feel sad when we lose a loved one, or angry when our source of income changes, or hurt when our friends turn their backs. It's natural to feel those emotions because it makes us human. The matter is not to get so caught up in how we feel but to know God is our source of comfort, stability, security, and much more. As long as we keep in mind that God is greater than our hearts, He is willing to carry us and heal us from every single burden we will have. 

But there must be a willingness to open our mouths and hearts, allowing His Holy Spirit in and tell God, Yes, I am hurting. Yes, I am tired. Yes, I am weak, weary, afraid, and anything else contradicting who God is to us. 

In the end, it's not a matter of someone shouting bible verses at us to believe, suppress our emotions, and strengthen our faith in any way, but a case of God teaching us how to do so because we may not know how to. 

This is why if you can't talk it out, Write it Out, then Speak It Out. Writing out your feelings and emotions and speaking them aloud to God can help release whatever's on your heart, even when frustrated tears are in the way. But most importantly, be honest with yourself, and make sure your heart isn't in denial about how you truly feel about a situation. 

Take some time throughout the day, whether for 30 minutes or so, during a lunch break, downtime, or before bed. Just take a breather to release yourself from any problematic emotions you need God to help you through. Whatever you may have trouble speaking. Whichever one, Write it Out, then Speak It Out! Or, if you want, write a letter of Gratitude and Thanksgiving. God has a listening ear for a conversation with you.

There's Freedom in Vulnerability.